Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
You did not see that.

Or,

Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
God, that fucking hurt.

All I have to do,
Is lay and show my tummy.
Putty in my paws.

Sorry, don't know why;
Must run at mach three til morn.
Run run run run run.

Catnip, finest bud -
Makes me swing at my sister.
Can't handle my high.

Drooling, giant beast
Cowers at my deadly claws.
Hmph! Dogs! Such pansies!

It's not my fault, see -
The plant wants me to eat it.
"I dare you," it said!

She can't see me. Soon
I shall pounce her wee brains out!
Wait for it...and NOW!

Watch this - I chirp, and
He picks me up without fail.
I trained him GREAT, huh?

Thank you for dinner
But if you’ll excuse – nap time!
What, are you still here?

They call me Mena.
I’m the dopest cat evah!
Y’heard it, suckas?!

Kick like a donkey,
Sharpen blades on furniture.
All in a day’s work.

Tremble before me,
Fools! I rule over all things!
Oh, hey…is that string?

That bird thinks it’s safe
Sitting on that windowsill.
Where’d this glass come from?

Listen to me howl –
I scream until your ears bleed.
Heed my call, hairless!

I can’t chew popcorn –
I prefer your shoelaces.
Why can’t I eat them?

Grey, long, lean and loud –
I am the one called Ernie.
Humans are jealous.

Dude, haikus are fun!
Especially ones about
Tino and Mena.