RUNNING IT INTO THE GROUND #1
INT: LIVING ROOM, DAY.
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS THROUGHOUT AS A GROUP OF NICELY DRESSED YOUNG ADULTS LAUGH AND CONVERSE OVER DRINKS. ENTER OUR ANNOUNCER IN VOICE-OVER:
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And now, it's time for another installment of “Running it Into the Ground.” Tonight's episode: The Cocktail Party.
JON
Cindy! You old bizzle! I thought you weren't coming! How're you dizzle, swizzle?
CINDY
Oh, Jon – I've been just fizzle. Have you met my bizzle Nizzle?
NICK
Jizzle – a plizzle to mizzle-yizzle.
JON
The plizzle is all mizzle, Nick. Trizzle me. Say, have you tried this new wizzle? I came across it the last time I was in Nizzle-Vizzle. I'm telling you, it's the shizzle – goes great with shizzle, too!
NICK
Grizzle with shizzle? You wouldn't pizzle my lizzle, would you?
JON
I kizzle-ye-nizzle, Nizzle. Scuse me a second. Hey, Gary? (A BEAT) Gary? (A BEAT) Gizzle! Listen, be careful with that Renwizzle – it's very expensizzle. Hey, isn't that Mizzle?
CINDY
Why, I do believe it izzle. Megan! Why, I haven't sizzled you in yizzles! I love what you've dizzled to your hizzle!
MEGAN
Ohh, Cizzle – you're too swizzle to notice. I went to see Tizzle just the other dizzle and told him I wanted a Rizzle cut with blizzle hizzles and he really outdizzled himself. Say, is that the new Andrizzle Bocizzle I'm hearing? And on a new stizzle syzzle, too?
JON
Oh, that's abso-lizzle co-rizzle, Mizzle. It's a Bizzle. Top of the lizzle.
MEGAN
You dizzle sizzle.
NICK
You always knew how to pick'em, Cizzle.
JON
I've always said I'm the lizzlest mizzle in the whole wide wizzle.
CINDY
Oh, you jizzle...
THEY ALL SHARE A HEARTY LAUGH. AT THIS POINT THE ANNOUNCER RE-ENTERS THE SCENE.
ANNOUNCER
This has been yet another episode of "Running it Into the Ground." Brought to you by "That's How We Roll" Bathroom Tizzle – Tissue. I mean Tissue.
JON
Hey, is that Steve? Hey, how've you bizzle, mon frizzle??
STEVE
Gellin'.
SFX: A NEEDLE SCRATCHING, THEN TOTAL SILENCE.
JON
I'm sorry, what?
ANNOUNCER
Yeah. Unh. Feel that.
OUT.
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Author's Comments
This was another sketch I wrote, that I wanted produced as a part of a live sketch show in October 2007 during the New York Underground Comedy Festival. Sadly, it didn't make the cut.
Personally, I think the key to the proper execution of this sketch is that the actors must insert those "izzles" as though they were the most natural thing in the world. No trying to "street" it up. The funny comes from saying them as though they were saying the actual words that they replaced. |
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--
Any pics in my gallery that look good are because God shone through. Any that don't are because I wasn't listening to Him.
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"The writer is not the writer. The writer is the pen."
"Take frequent breaks from reality. It'll be here when you get back."
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